Recently, I’ve found that my opinions have somewhat mollified. Two weeks ago, Hazel picked up a magnifying glass in my mother’s house and told her Nana exactly what it was.  Where did this knowledge come from? Myself and Ev have never had cause to go around repeating the term “Magnifying Glass” and I doubt they’re doing it at Hazel’s crèche either! It makes sense that television (CBeebies in the overwhelming majority) might well be the source.

Last Friday I chanced upon an article on the Guardian‘s website.  I’ll reproduce some extracts from it here but I’d encourage you to click on the link above and check it out in its entirety if you’re interested.

In it Desmond Morris, the famous zoologist and author of The Naked Ape, argues that parents needn’t feel so guilty about letting their children watch TV.

Television, he claims, can be better for preschool children than books, and parents who believe otherwise are guilty of cultural snobbery. “If parents favour book-reading over watching a film, they’re making a mistake,” said Morris, whose new book, Child, to be published on Tuesday, looks at the development of the preschool toddler. “It’s unjustifiable cultural snobbery.”

“Reading to your child from a book only gives verbal input,” he added. “If it has a good script, musical input and uses creative visuals, a good feature film provides three media for imagery. Films can be better than books. It’s simply wrong to claim otherwise.”

This resonates with my current opinion on the subject. Perhaps television (featuring the right kinds of programmes, of course) is a useful tool for kick-starting a child’s education?

Contrary to recent research, Morris insists, feature films can enhance a child’s long-term concentration and finesse complex cognitive skills.

“The attention span of a young child is said to be only about three to five minutes. But a four-year-old may watch a film for over two hours without once taking her eyes off the screen,” he said.

I am a bit more sceptical about this. For a start, we’re told his idea are “contrary to recent research”. Has he done his own research? Even more important, I think, is the inactivity.  Surely a toddler sitting still for that length of time will have some sort of negative effect on their own health?

Interestingly, the journalist, in filling out the article, also sidesteps into another issue that is currently focusing our minds: Hazel’s need for interaction with other toddlers.

Morris also made the contentious claim that nursery schools are more natural environments for preschool children than staying at home with a full-time parent. “In tribal societies village children all run around together,” he said. “That’s the natural way. So mothers who go out to work should not feel guilty because they’re doing the natural thing – as long as they’re not too tired to play with their children when they come home.”

Leaving aside the reference to “mothers” (tut tut), as my previous post explained, this is also an opinion we now share.

There is, however, a dissenting opinion.

Psychologist Aric Sigman, who has called the hours spent in front of TVs “the greatest unacknowledged health scandal of our time”, questioned Morris’s authority for his claims about television. “Desmond Morris is an anthropologist, not a biologist,” he said. “The truth is that a child’s rapidly developing brain needs to be primed through experiences that place plenty of cognitive demands on it.”

This sounds perfectly sensible too. Of course, no-one (I hope) is going to advocate leaving their child in front of the TV for the whole day.

“The greatest … health scandal of our time”?  Everything in moderation…

So here’s a little story from last Monday: I’m a fan of American Football and was delighted when I heard that Channel 4 (UK) would be showing one live game every weekend. There’s no Sky Sports in our house. The downside to this game being on terrestrial TV is that it doesn’t kick off until 1.30am on Sunday night/Monday morning. After trying to stay up and watch it two weeks ago, my smarter half wondered why I didn’t just record the game and watch it at my leisure the following day. It’s not as if I’d have to avoid Irish radio to keep the results secret, is it?!

So, I was doing just that on Monday morning, around 11am. Hazel was playing with some toys in the sitting room and I was sitting in the kitchen (where the DVD recorder is) watching my recorded game. Next thing I know, the little lady toddles into the kitchen carrying the box for Finding Nemo in her left hand and the disc from said box in her right.

“We watch Nee-no?” she asked.

“No, it’s daddy’s turn with the telly” I said.

She then proceeded to walk past me, over to the TV stand, bent down, hit the ‘Open/Close’ button on the DVD recorder, took out my disc and put in Nee-no! She didn’t actually manage to put the disc in flat, so the door wouldn’t close. At this, I picked my jaw up off the floor and went over to help her!

I tell you this as a kind of parable.  As Hazel has grown up, we’ve been pretty sure we were aware of what stage of development she was in. We had all the books. We knew what to expect…

However, she’s 26 months old now and is capable of making us realise that we are no longer on top of everything.  She’s now taken the lead and we just have to try and keep up.

About three weeks back, Ev announced that Mags (one of her good friends) and her son Eamon (possibly Hazel’s best friend) would be calling in for a visit. Hazel was in a state of excitement at the news – basically she went a bit hyper. Alas, 40 minutes later, when they still hadn’t arrived she was so sad as to be in danger of becoming a depressive.  Thankfully, before the tears arrived Mags and Eamon did and an enjoyable visit was had by all.

Later on, when Hazel was in bed, Ev and I sat down and discussed what we’d seen. Wondering how we hadn’t noticed it before, we realised that Hazel needed company of her own age. Hanging around with Daddy, all day, every day, wasn’t going to be good enough any more.

Since then, the pattern of our lives has changed completely.  Hazel now goes to crèche two mornings each week. It’s a nice one, in a small village on Ev’s route to work so it’s quite handy.  Hazel has taken to this like the proverbial duck to water and spends the other days of the week wondering when she’ll next get to see her “new friends”.

I’ve also started bringing her to Parent-and-Toddler groups.  I’ve found two in the vicinity that meet on mornings she’s not at crèche and we’ve checked them out.  I was the only guy at both of them. I’ve been thoroughly slagged off about this on Facebook and in the real world! “How many phone numbers did you get?” one wit asked.  There is a flip-side to being surrounded by such overwhelming femininity. Not enough in-depth discussion on the previous weekend’s sport for one thing.

Still, I’m doing this for Hazel’s sake so let’s see how it goes.

Besides, I do get to drink copious amounts of tea.

So apologies to all.  Especially Mitzi, the blog’s biggest fan! But fret not – broadband engineers have finally conquered these heretofore impassable lands and we are online. Huzzah!

Hazel is now 25 months old.  Honestly, it would take an essay, not a blog entry, to cover everything that has happened in her life since I last posted in December.

In that time, she’s had her second birthday, spent two nights in Mayo General Hospital and had an arranged marriage confirmed.  Ok, the last one of those isn’t true.

She can walk, she can run (albeit it’s edge-of-the-seat stuff), she loves bubbles (cool) and spilling drinks (not cool), thinks she can drive the car and use the computer and, much to the delight of my side of the family, seems to have inherited her mother’s singing voice.

And she can talk. Baby’s first steps are a cliched, break out the video camera, moment. But speech development has been more wondrous to follow.  The day-by-day improvements; the mistakes that are funny enough to quote; the “where did that come from?” full sentences. Last week, while playing with her pasta, she asked “How about ice-cream, instead?”. That’s right, instead!  Again, in a discussion over food, she told me “I’m not going to eat it”. That’s two verbs in one sentence.  These are pretty advanced uses of language and, while (of course) I knew she’d be able to talk some day, it’s a pleasant surprise to hear.

Her favourite hobby is hide and seek.  There is no situation that can’t activate a game of hide and seek.  All it takes is Hazel starting to count to ten.  When she gets there she’ll declare “Ready or not, here we come!”  Up to this point, you won’t be sure if you’re supposed to be hiding or seeking, however, as she is prone to hiding in plain sight.  About a fortnight ago, we were outside watching an aeroplane fly over the house when it vanished behind cloud (the plane, not the house).  Sure enough, Hazel proceeded to count to ten. Alas, the clouds and the plane didn’t play along and it never reappeared. She took this rejection in her stride, thankfully!

I intend posting again, telling all about her hospital visit.  For today though, I thought I’d just keep it light and bring everyone up to speed.

‘Til next time…

The realisation that the daddy blog actually has some regular readers was a (pleasant) surprise!

To explain myself, our new home is situated right in the middle of a broadband wasteland.  We’re trying to get by using an internet dongle from one of the mobile phone companies but it’s only giving us access last seen in about 1997.  With modern-day websites set up to use much more capacious connections, we can just about access our gmail (and that’s with the ‘Basic HTML’ switch turned on).

That being said, I am lucky in that I was contacted earlier in the year by David Caren, the editor of www.dad.ie.  David has kept me on the straight and narrow by encouraging me to produce an article on a monthly basis.  Well, almost a monthly basis…

Dad.ie does exactly what it says on the tin!  It’s a site for fathers (or prospective fathers) of all ages and circumstances.  There are enough sites for mum’s on the internet already.

If you’ve missed out on the articles, and would like to see proof that I have actually written stuff over the last few months, here are the links:

• Diary of a Child-proofer
• Diary of a Sleep Trainer
• Diary of a Feeder
• TV and my Toddler

And there’ll be more to come, I’m sure.

Back in August we surprised everybody by upping sticks and moving from Clare to Roscommon.

At the time, I presumed that the effect of the move on our little Hazel would be, if not exactly traumatic, at least interesting enough to merit a blog post or two. Alas for this blog’s post count, she has turned out to be the best house-mover of the three of us!

She’s always been a very stoic child, always putting up with whatever it is we crazies put in her path. She’s always been very good about going to either grandparents’ house to stay for a night, if we need to go to a wedding etc. No doubt, she must have viewed the first week or two in our new place in the same light.

‘So this isn’t exactly the house I know’, she must have thought, ‘at least my favourite people and toys are here so let’s get on with it.’

From our point of view as parents, I have to say that we are delighted with our new place. The house itself is surrounded by large lawns, front and back. She’s walking now, and loves to go outside, so it’s comforting to think she’d have to walk almost 40 metres to even reach the front gate. Even if she managed that, our gate opens onto a bóirín, at least 150 metres from the road.

Also, unlike our previous residence, this house is a bungalow. This means no more worrying if we’ve left the stair gate open when she leaves the room we’re in. We’re also on the same floor as her at night-time, so there’s no need for baby monitors after she’s gone to bed.

There’s nothing much else to say, except “Life is good”!

We’re moving – lock and stock – two hours up the road.

What’s brought this about is a new job for my wife and, in the short-term at least, it will mean unemployment for me. That might seem like a bit of a downer but, from our point-of-view, it’s definitely worth it. For one thing, we’ll be moving “home” and, of course, I’ll get to become a stay-at-home dad! If you’ve read the previous blog entries you’ll know that’s something I’m definitely excited about.

Ev and I aren’t originally from Clare. We’re both from Connacht – Ev’s from Mayo and I’m from Roscommon. When we moved to Ennis in 2004, we had a nebulous notion that we’d stay for five years before moving home and “settling down” for good. However, with the recession and the budgets of the last 12 months, we had decided that we’d have to stay put for at least another year.

That was until last month, when Ev saw an ad in the Irish Independent which said, in as vague a manner as possible, that a “West of Ireland school” sought a teacher with her subjects. She figured she’d little to lose so applied.

That was on a Thursday afternoon.  The following Monday she received a phone call from the school, in which the Principal identified it as being about 15km from her parents’ house – in the next town over, basically. They also asked her if she’d be willing to come to interview on the Thursday of that week, at 1pm. So she went along, did the interview, did well and, by 6pm that evening, had been offered the job!

She’s accepted and will be starting off her new post at the end of August.

We’ve found a rental house that we’re happy with and will be moving our stuff in the middle of August. With all the products of our hoarding then moved, we’ll then (hopefully) rent out our house in Ennis.  Like so many people at the moment, I doubt we’ll be able to sell it in the forseeable future.

One thing this does mean is that there’ll be a whole lot of blogging going on!

Anyone who’s been reading my blog will know that we have been blessed with our daughter and her placid, stoic nature. She’s never been one to throw tantrums and reacts to life’s hard knocks by having a little cry for a few minutes and then dusting herself down and getting straight back into the action.  So why, you may ask, would we decide to shock, upset  and provoke her now?

Every child grows up believing that the way things are done in their house is “normal”.  Even at her young age, Hazel is no different.  One example of this is that she uses a soother to get to sleep.  This is fine and dandy (and handy, even) at 8.30pm but it becomes a problem if she wakes during the night as the soother has always slipped out of her mouth during sleep and she needs one of us to get up and retrieve it (or get a new one) for her. A couple of months ago my wife purchased the book Solve your child’s sleep problem by Dr Richard Ferber. As I write this, I can’t say for certain if this was a good or a bad thing.

You see, Dr Ferber believes that afirmative action should be taken to ween your child off their soother and, what’s more, he recommends that this action should ideally take place before the child’s first birthday.  This process, commonly known as ‘Ferberisation’, is pretty much a stepped cold turkey programme to kill a soother addiction, and should see results “between four days and two weeks”.

Last night (completely out of the blue from her perspective) we gave Hazel her bedtime bottle 30 minutes before bed.  And when bedtime came we simply put her into her cot and left the room.  No hanging around and certainly no rocking to sleep!

I doubt I need to report that she burst out crying.  However, that was only the start of the plan.  It continued with us only going in to see her at specified intervals to calm her and reassure her that we haven’t abandoned her totally.

For example, on night one we were to wait three minutes after leaving her down before we could visit her.  After Ev came out from seeing her, the clock started again and this time the gap had to be five minutes.  This visit was (thankfully) to be the last needed as, before the 10 minutes for the next visit had passed, it was all quiet on the baby front.

She woke up twice during the night and on each occasion we employed the same approach, taking turns going in to see her.

The final part of the plan states that if she wakes up anytime from 6am she must not be brought in to the bed or put back to sleep. She is up for the day and, if we stick to her regular nap routine, she will then be even more tired on the following night.

Typically, she woke just before 6 and it’s since then that the gloss has slightly gone off Dr Ferber.  We’ve had a cranky, tired child on our hands all day. She found it difficult to even go for her naps (no soother then either, of course) and was fit to fall over at bedtime. Unfortunately, this possibly made her over-tired and she took a lot longer to go to sleep tonight.

As luck would have it, we had some visitors this evening and had to explain to them tat we weren’t really being callous, as we blithely ignored the screaming child on the baby monitor.  Their opinion can’t have been helped either when Hazel cried so hard that she vomited…

Amazingly, Dr Ferber has a section on this very thing in his book.  So we changed her and the sheets as “quickly and as matter-of-factly” as possible and put her back into the cot.  Indeed, she did fall asleep quite quickly after that.

You see, I know that, in the long run, the benefits of this will be there for all.  Hazel will be able to go to sleep quickly and, should she wake during the night, not needing her soother will allow her to get back to sleep on her own without us having to get up. Also she won’t have any trouble caused by a soother in the way when she’s learning to talk.

I know all that but, after the day we’ve had, and what she must be going through, I feel like I’m one half of the world’s cruelest parents.  Right now, it’s not fun.

Let’s hope we’re through it in time for her birthday…

So I’m now back at work full-time.  I intend keeping the blog going, albeit I’ll probably post a bit less often. (I know what you’re thinking – I didn’t exactly post every week before this!)  I’ll try and post at least once a month, just to keep track of Hazel’s growth and development.  It’ll be a nice record, even for ourselves, in the years ahead.

It’s nice to know that some people are reading my scribblings.  A few weeks back, David Caren, the editor of dad.ie, asked me if I’d like contribute a piece to his site. Not really considering myself an expert on any facet of parenting, I wrote a piece on child-proofing around the house, simply because we had just done that very thing. If you’d like to read it for yourself, head to the Fatherhood section of dad.ie.

Incidentally, David tells me they’re running a competition, in conjunction with The Gift Voucher Shop, for Fathers’ Day. It starts tomorrow, so be sure to check it out.  Actually, it’s a great site so check it out anyway!

“She’s grown up so quickly. Where did the time go? Now, the moment has come for her to leave the comfortable surroundings with which she’s accustomed and broaden her horizons. Naturally, her parents are not happy about this but accept it, being resigned to its inevitability.”

Of course, knowing what this blog is about, you won’t be fooled into thinking that the story above refers to an eldest daughter leaving home to go to university.

No, you know it’s just my way of dealing with Hazel’s new-found ability to crawl.

She’s not even content to settle for just crawling either. She’s only been moving forward for about 10 days and she’s already doing her best to pull herself up to a standing position, using the couch, the bottom of the stairs, the side of her high chair, you name it.

This has led to falls.

The first time she fell and audibly banged her head on the floor we were both on the scene in seconds, issuing comforting words. A couple of weeks on and familiarity with such an occurance has bred, not contempt thankfully, but a more relaxed attitude certainly.

Obviously, we have attempted to reduce the potential for danger around the house. Plug guards are in, the coffee table is now squashed in the corner (behind an armchair), we’ve a gate at the bottom of the stairs, the fire set has been removed totally, and a heap more. But still, let’s be honest, falls are going to happen – in fact, she’ll probably find ways of making them happen – so we just have to accept them.

Returning to the first paragraph to finish, it has struck me that life will be ever thus from now on. We’ll be excited the first time she: walks, sleeps in a bed at night, learns to cycle, stays over with friends etc etc. And, at each of these events, we’ll also be damn scared!

Here’s Hazel doing her best to dismantle the barriers in the sitting room:

Our Hazel was her second great-grandchild and she was, very definitely, quite the attraction throughout the week as several relatives got to see her for the first time.  Obviously, she wouldn’t have any clue what was going on but she’s a VERY gregarious young wan and she lapped up the attention.

Back to today and I can offer some breaking news. Hazel’s latest development happened just this morning when she discovered how to engage the forward gear on her crawling. With almost comical speed the delightful development led to this:

Now, what does one suppose has happened here?

That’s right, the pink babygrow used to be on the radiator. Until the little lady crawled over there and pulled it down that is!

11am: Couldn’t crawl forwards. 2pm: Pulling and dragging and putting her hands where they shouldn’t be.

I fear my DVD collection is in harm’s way – well the bottom shelf anyway!